What Counts as Fun?
Maybe I've been telling myself the wrong story.
I spent most of Saturday at my computer. Not how many people would spend their weekend, I guess.
But I was enjoying myself, I was having fun.
There’s this incredible excitement that comes at the creation stage.
You’re building something. You’ve got the foundation in place and you’re starting to put up walls. You’re starting to see the shape come to life.
It’s exhilarating.
But….
I’ve always thought that enjoying this kind of work (especially when tied to my paid corporate role) didn't count as real “fun.” That there was something wrong with me if this was what I wanted to do instead of go for a run, hike a mountain, play with my kids, or visit a museum.
I was confusing enjoyment with leisure; I was treating them as if they were the same thing. They are not. Enjoyment isn’t measured by what it looks like. It’s measured by how it feels.
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What if it’s not the work I don’t enjoy? What if it’s doing it for someone else, on their timeframe, within their hours?
What would happen if I admitted that I enjoy the work? What I don’t like is the lack of freedom. What I want is autonomy.
What would happen if I admitted that this model once worked for me? There was a time when I needed it. I needed the stability, the structure, the support. The steady paycheck was a bounty, not a burden.
What would happen if I admitted that I’ve outgrown it? That it’s time to stretch my wings and do it on my own. It’s time to create my own scaffolding and stop borrowing someone else’s.
What if I gave myself permission?
I’ve told myself for years that I don’t enjoy work like this anymore. On Saturday, no one asked me to build anything. No one gave me a deadline. No one was paying me. And I still spent most of the day creating.
Maybe the story I've been telling myself isn't true.
What’s something you love that isn’t “supposed to” make you happy? I genuinely want to know. Let’s talk about it in the comments.
Wow yeah... I never really thought about enjoyment and leisure not really being the same thing.
I can completely relate with "working" on a Sunday. I did the same thing! And I did find enjoyment in it. It feels nice to use some unstructured time to get ahead.
I'm definitely going to keep this in mind going forward. Great post!
I've always been very ambitious and give 100% to my job, but after experiencing burnout years ago I grew very cautious of giving too much to an employer or pushing myself too hard to build something outside of work. But I really like building stuff!
This became so clear to me after I had my daughter and my free/personal time was erased for a while. I realized how much I enjoy having a project and how it really fills my cup.